Log in

No account? Create an account

(Blank subject)

« previous entry | next entry »
15th June 2009 | 12:32 pm

The desk they let me work on used to belong to Luis.

Luis was one of the many laid off because of budget cuts. Layoffs that resulted in being understaffed, which resulted in the creation of this new temporary, lower-paying job that I now hold.

I'm not complaining.

I've been looking for a job for ages and this one is a good one but it sucks that it works that way, that you can't just be like, "Hey man, our budget's tight this year, so everyone is gonna have to settle for a little less for a while." Instead, it's "Hey, you're gonna have to drop you because we can't afford you and everyone else but in a few months time, we'll be hiring someone to do basically everything you've been doing but for less."

I basically took someone's job. All my mom had to say was, "If it wasn't you, it'd be someone else." Huh.


I don't feel the way I used to except for last week when I found out that one of the graduating students from the Institute hung himself in his room two nights before his commencement ceremony.

He was going to walk with a 3 point 9. His mom lives nearby.

I was not expecting that, feeling all small and useless and helpless and in-the-way all over again, and I couldn't shake it off for the entire day, at least until I went home, ate my first thing of the day and took a nap. I woke up feeling better. Surprise. I guess the Lexapro is working.


I keep wanting to believe there is a higher standard in life that surpasses thinking purely for myself but I'm finding that whether or not there is and whether or not people say they also subscribe to this belief has no reflection on how anyone really goes about their days and their lives.


I've been telling myself that the things I've come to regard as truth are subjective. That the important part is not so much whether they are true or not but that I continue to believe that they are. What's also important is to realize that these truths are my truths and only my own. It'd be foolish to believe otherwise. I'm not going to make it if I continue to think that everyone else feels the same way about things as I do.

This world does not subscribe to my truths and if I want to go anywhere and do anything in this world, then it's time to learn its rules of engagement.

Link | Leave a comment |

Comments {0}