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"How have you been, baby girrl?"

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28th February 2009 | 06:46 pm
music: If I Were A Boy - Beyoncé

Subject: RE:

Heh, I've been alright, still in the process of getting my act together. It's looking optimistic though, which is a great step up from where I was this time last year, so I'm grateful for that.

So I don't know if I told you about this but apparently I've had hypothyroidism for a while (I'm guessing starting around 7th grade, cuz that's when the stupid changes all started happening, puberty, depression, weight gain, whathaveyou).

Well, at any rate, they figured it out when I did bloodwork like two years ago and they gave me medication to regulate and help my failing thyroid and it's finally fucking working!

I've lost at least 20 lbs, just because my body is regulating itself more properly! I also feel more energetic and not so stupidly depressed to the MAX anymore(how dramatic).

But yeah, THANK YOU JESUS. Hotdamn. :)

Mmm, I've been hanging out A LOT with Brianna. We've been getting a lot pretty well lately. I learn a bit more about her, she learns a bit more about me, you know. I think our friendship is a lot more substantial this time around.

She's not too big on verbalizing/showing outward affection, which you know I have a big fondness/soft spot/weakness/need for, but I can tell she cares about me, even if it's not in the obvious ways. Which makes it mean even more when I catch it, I'd think. :)

I mean, it'd be nice to not be afraid to overstep boundaries with her, but that is an issue I have with pretty much anyone I meet, stemming from a bunch of different things. But that is something I have to deal with on my own, so on her part, I really couldn't/wouldn't ask or want for anything more.

Heh, you probably didn't really care for that bit of information, but it's something important to me so I thought I'd be honest and share anyway. My bad if that was the wrong thing to do, you calling me 'babygirl' (even if you call everyone that) just reminded me of how much I secretly pine for lame-lovey shit. Haha.

TANGENT, you know that 'If I Were A Boy' song of Beyonce's, I mean I've heard it all over for a long time but I never really listened to what she was singing about, so I finally sat down the other day, looked up lyrics and played it and GODDAMN THAT IS A SAD FRICKIN SONG. And it's even WORSE because it's so true. Damn boys. UGH. But yeah I love that song, hahaaa. And she is SMOKIN' in that video! If I were a boy!

I've been on a big movie binge lately, I watch (or at least put on for background sounds/visuals) around 3 everyday and the amusing things is they are all movies I've seen before. And not even movies that are like AMAZINGMOVIE STATUS. I just keep watching them over and over! Like Transformers, I've seen that 5 times from Thursday to today. (...) And Chocolat too. I saw I, Robot yesterday, and I think that one's going back in the DVD player tonight. HAHA IDUNO, MAN! IDUNO.

Anyway, that's about it, I start back at UCI at the end of March, so I'm just killing time until then, kinda scared, kinda excited for this "second chance" but we'll see, right?

Still looking for a job, I mean, I'm sure if I looked harder something will show up, I know it's been hard for everyone lately and I'm not spending 24/7 on apps and searching, so the fact that I don't have a job isn't on anyone but myself, right now. I'm not hard to please though, it's still on my bucket list to work cashier at a supermarket and bag groceries..lol.

Truth be told, I'm kind of surprised I went into this much 'detail,' but it's been a while since someone asked me how I was and meant it and was also someone I'd be inclined to respond back to completely honestly.


I think she would have been quite pleased to get that.

I feel kind of weird about actually having particular people who, if they had asked, I would've loved to send that to.

I also feel kind of bad that I would wholeheartedly divulge all of that with said persons (even if they didn't really care too much about it), instead of valuing the one who really did ask and who would maybe even love me for answering.

I didn't send it. Because I realized that last part wouldn't have been true. I guess I'd rather wait until it was.

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