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Bren Hall. 10/03/07. Pen and paper.

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3rd October 2007 | 03:13 pm

Christine.
     So, you're sitting in your Bio class lecture hall an hour earlier than class time because you don't want to go back to Norte only to have to get back here. Well, that's cool. You finished today's bio reading and don't want to start on Friday's before Wednesday's (today's) lecture. You forgot your SE10 book so there's really nothing else for you to do for the rest of the hour.

     Here's an update on your life, in case for some reason everything has somehow slipped from your mind. You've decided you really are gay and that it's okay. You took the jump onto the pre-med path. You deleted your almost 30 gigs of music so you can reorganize and start over fresh. You're randomly meeting new people who are really nice as well as developing and rekindling old friendships. And you really have to note how great the Yamamoto EP as a soundtrack to what you're doing right now.

     It's like everything in your life right now is connected and even though everything starts out with you not really knowing what to do, you end up doing it and at least for now, you're pretty happy with how things are turning out.

     You had a slight hunch on that Yamamoto EP, and it really is uncanny how fitting it is for you, for right now. You weren't sure how things would be this year, what with you being displaced from your old situation, living with the homies, but really, it's enabled you to develop your friendships on your own, with a more 1-1 sort of deal. Being away allows for the quiet you need to be able to focus more and more easily. You can interact with people at your own pace, in your own time, in your own way. Your iTunes was pretty out of control and you barely listening to a lot that was in there. So now it's all gone and while it's only a shadow of the library you used to have, at least you know that you have and will enjoy what is in there now, and it's even better than before because you specifically handpicked all of it and searched for the info and album artwork. This is YOUR iTunes library. You jumped into pre-med because you've been thinking about it a lot. This is something you want to try. Remember that. This is your decision and this is for you. You're challenging yourself. it doesn't matter that you're a second year and that you're a PSB major and you placed into Chem1P and only got into Math2A because of your calculator. Math2A doesn't allow calculators for the final, it's all you now. You're trying this. You're doing it for you. And you're gay. And it's okay. And you don't know what's next and you're not quite sure what to do now but that's how it is with everything.

     What's going in iTunes next? (Yamamoto, probably) How long will it take you to get the hang of bio? Will you find a pretty lady? When do you tell you parents? Were those chance encounters with those people really chance encounters or potential friendships?

     I don't know. You can't know. But you know what I wanted to tell you that I realized? Everything that has been happening so far, at least as of late, they all seem to point to one thing. That you need to go at your own pace for things. Take things as they come and just as they come, one at a time. It's okay to do things as you become ready for them. You don't need to do them before that. It's all for you anyway. Do it so you can get the fullness of it. Focus, and be what you are and do what you can and it'll be okay. Just make sure that's it's what you want and that it's for you in whatever it is. Then things will be okay.

     So now your class is filling up and you need to turn off the iPod and tune into Bio. Be where you are and do what needs to be done to be where you are.

                                      Take care man.
                                      I'll be seeing you around =]
                                       ~Stiney

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